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Choose People Who Raise Your Vibration (Spiritual Tool #7)

Choose people who raise your vibration. Sounds a little picky, doesn’t it? Maybe even a little selfish. Aren’t we (especially women), suppose to make ourselves available to whomever or wherever we’re needed regardless of what truth longs to be heard inside of us? And why is this even considered a spiritual tool?

Spiritual tools are those tried and true go-to habits that keep us sane, centered, and calm. If you’ve been devoting yourself to a regular practice of using them (whatever that may look like for you), you know what a difference they make in your life! It’s the difference between waking up feeling like you’re spinning out of control versus knowing the Universe really does have your back. I’ve noticed three changes in my life through the regular use of the spiritual tools I use:

  1. I wake up happy for no reason in particular, even when life presents its challenges which it always does, right? The idea that happiness is an inside job has gone beyond an intellectual idea to a spiritual practice. It’s always a choice. This doesn’t mean that I sugarcoat everything. I still feel all of my feelings, but I don’t let them be the masters. Instead, they are great messengers.

  2. Most of the tools I use bring me back home to myself. They create space for me. For example, moving my body (spiritual tool #4), asking for guidance (tool #2), and being kind to myself (tool #5) all require that I set aside time for myself. When I do my world view expands. I am reminded of my infinity, quite a powerful place to be!

  3. They create strong, healthy boundaries which brings me back to Spiritual Tool #7: Choose People Who Raise Your Vibration.

Creating strong healthy personal boundaries simply means that you value and honor who you are, your feelings, and your own worth. If you want to know how healthy your personal boundaries look at how you invest your personal time. Your time is perhaps your most precious resource. It is the greatest gift you can give someone (including yourself!) How you invest your time says heaps about who you are and is a great reflection of your own worth. For example, how much time do you spend in front of a screen (computer, phone, TV) versus how much time do you invest with close friends or nature?

When it comes to other people then, what does it mean to choose your time wisely? Ask yourself if you’re making choices based on shoulds. Do the people you share your time with drain your energy or do they fill you up? Are you deciding to “spend” time with them because it’s your duty? Or are you investing time with people because they bring you joy and raise your vibration? What if you decided to make choices based on how much happiness it brought into your life? Sure, we all have some responsibilities we may not relish, but if the majority of your decisions are based on shoulds and duties, know you are cooking up a meal that tastes like resentment and depression.

Here’s a simple exercise that helps bring clarity if you’re conflicted over a choice. Ask yourself two questions: Will this bring my energy up and increase my joy? Or will this bring my energy down? As you ask these questions, notice what happens with the energy in your body. Sometimes a yes will resonate as a heart expansion or a no will feel like a collapse of energy in your solar plexus. The key is to become aware of your own body language, trust the answer you receive, and then have the courage to act on it. Your body never lies! It’s always communicating your highest and best good.

Here are a few other tips to help as you get into the habit of choosing joy over duty.

  • Remember that “No” is a complete sentence.

  • Before saying yes to that invitation or person, take a pause and be simply direct and compassionately honest. For example, if you simply say: “You know, I just need to stay home. I need to recharge my own batteries.” You may be surprised by your friend’s positive response. You’re also setting a great example of what it means to take care of yourself and set clear boundaries.

  • Give yourself permission to be authentic. This doesn’t just happen overnight. It’s a practice. As Brene Brown says: “Choosing authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” And like any practice, it gets easier the most you do it.

Your time is precious! Choose people that raise your vibration instead of draining it! The world is teeming with people here to elevate the planet’s energy. I have my favorite friends, authors, and blogs who instantly remind me in so many words that being in joy is our main purpose here on Earth. Who are those people that light up your life? Follow that light! Trigger the light within yourself! In fact, be the light! As you give yourself more permission to shine your light and make choices that bring you joy, you become one of those people that automatically brighten a room just by your presence. As you raise your own vibration, you automatically raise the vibration of every being on this planet. It’s a win-win-win! Shine on!

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