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Joan D'Argo

Spiritual Tool #5: Am I Kind to Myself?


Our inner work sets the stage for and is a reflection of outer work. If you are called to be a change agent to birth a new world into being (in whatever way you choose; it doesn’t matter how small or big it is), a spiritual toolbox is essential. In this blog, I continue to share with you what’s in my toolbox.

The relationship we have with our self, sets the tone for all other relationships in our life. When we fall in love with ourselves, we open ourselves up to the infinite amount of love always available to us. But it starts with our self.

You can tell how much you love yourself by being aware of how kind you are to yourself. You can actually measure the amount of self-kindness within. All you have to do is become aware of and listen to the voice inside your head. We all have one.

Becoming aware of that voice was a game changer for me. Once I started listening to it, I realized how hard I was on myself! I was my own worst critic. The standards I set for myself were high and if I didn’t meet them, I often gave myself an emotional “ass whooping.” In truth, I was bullying myself. Some of the phrases I heard were: “Who do you think you are? You’re a fake. You need more training. Don’t reach for the stars.” And of course: “You’re not good enough,” a phrase many of my clients tell me often repeats in their own heads.

With patience and vigilance, I cleared this self-defeating voice and the false beliefs that fueled its existence. When my inner dialogue shifted from being a bully to truly loving myself, everything got a whole lot easier! Self-criticism transformed into self-compassion. Self-doubt into self-kindness. The energy I used to disparage myself was freed up to fuel my creativity and joy. My energy soared. Ultimately, I became my own best friend. It's now one of my favorite spiritual tools!

How kind are you to yourself? When you hear your inner critic, are you able to shift the dialogue from negativity into compassion? Here’s a challenge for you: Just like you might blow a kiss to a loved one, the next time you pass a mirror can you blow a kiss to yourself?

If you need help releasing your inner critic, give me a call. Releasing it changed my life. It can change your life too! For a 6-step process to release the voice of your inner critic check out this blog.

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